Saturday, 19 March 2011

What Is True Love?

 Love is an intense feeling that can easily be confused. You've been together for a while now. That euphoric, queasy, pit-of-the-stomach, sign of true love has settled down only slightly and you know this is your one and only love, your heart's desire.

     You can't imagine life without your partner. In fact, you won't ever consider it. The very thought is more than just upsetting; its devastating. The very thought of him or her with anyone else but you sends into frenzy. You feel empty and sick at the thought of not being together. Without your lover, there are no you. This is true love!

   Or is it? If this sound like what you are experiencing, it may be this is a love addiction or not love itself. What's the difference? Simply stated, love exists in an open system; addiction in a closed one. Let's take a look at what that means.

     In a fully loving relationship, mutuality and trust are the themes. Each partner is secure in his and her own sense of worth and believes the other has a right to grow and expand. Each encourages and provide room for that growth.

     This means that while you and your partner share many things, you may very well have separate interests and other friends of both sexes. Neither of you is threatened by the investment in and maintenance of meaningful friendship, realizing that each friendship enriches your love relationship. It also means both of you have th ability to enjoy your own solitary company, that being alone is not about rejecting the lover but a recognition that each is o whole person, not two halves of a whole, with your own unique needs and patterns of living.

     Secure in each other's love, you are able to respect each other's boundaries. Each is trusting and trustworthy. You both work at preserving the others sense of integrity. Most of all, there is a willingness to risk you in the relationship, to be real, to be honest. In short, the hallmark of a loving relationship is the ability to be true to oneself while honoring and respecting the others unique being.

     If this describe your relationship, Congratulations! Nurture and celebrate your love! If, on the other hand, most of the above - or even some of it - doesn't ring true, consider that you may locked into an addictive relationship.