Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Why Women Need Attention

Ever wonder why women need attention? Do you find this emotional need frustrating? Does it seem silly?

There is a very strong evolutionary purpose for women needing attention. Perhaps if this need were better understood, couples would be more comfortable with it.

A few million years ago, our primate ancestors were developing their sexual strategies... or how they would best get their DNA passed on for future generations. Of course they were not consciously thinking about a stategy but it was certainly the essence of behavior and existence.

Some females (those who ended up having a better strategy), discovered that if they could mate with a male who would stay around, they would have protection, investment in their offspring, and even additional food. 

But how does do primates, without written or oral language figure out who would stick around or not? They look for signs or clues. 

The males who were attentive, and could show or express in some way their desire to stick around were the males the females would trust and with whom they would mate. Those males who did not show attention, were less likely to find a long term partner who would want to mate with them.

Females became highly instinctively sensitive to these attentiveness clues. If a male was attentive, she would mate with him. If he was not, she would not.

Today, we have language which can be used to express devotion and attention so men can verbally express their feelings and emotions. But the underlying need for attention and devotion is still operating in humans.

It is important to remember that there is a very clear and powerful instictual reason why women must feel important and loved in a relationship prior to engaging in physical intimacy.